Day 2: Why is it that I accepted this invite to hang out with a group of Mormon young adults? I know I am going to feel awkward during the event. What am I going to do and say? It would have been easier to just decline the invitation again. But let’s stop worrying about it, because you accepted.
I had some pretty weird dreams last night. I have been staying up very late. It is hard to feel that life isn’t passing me by. I have this idea that somebody out there is living my real life. I imagined that I had been kidnapped as a child and taken down to the jungles of Central America. Somehow I was replaced with a kid that looked close enough to my real self that it convinced my parents. Maybe they know about the whole thing.
So the real Ariel Aron Toraya is living an adventurous life amongst the guerrillas in Chiapas, or the ancient Mayan tribes in Guatemala. I can almost see myself swinging from vines in the jungles, with a machine gun strapped to my back. I am covered in tribal tattoos and I have a big Cuban cigar in between my teeth. I either have a parrot on my shoulder, or a chimpanzee that follows me everywhere. I know chimps are not native to Central America, but anything is possible in these adventure stories. I could have a kangaroo for all insane purposes.
What about my replacement: Me? I am working out my non-adventuring days with hard work in the current oppression of self-satisfied United States of America…land of the withdrawn. There is no chimpanzee at my side. I am not seeking for the lost treasures of Cortez or the ancient Maya. They don’t even let me legally smoke Cuban cigars in this country! Arrgh. As they say in these parts: “Thems the Breaks.”
I don’t know why I let myself get invited to Daniel’s church party. I am getting some anxieties about it. I feel that I am going to get there and everyone is going to say, “Who invited the long-haired, tattooed stranger. He’s not one of our kind. Let’s all see if we can make him feel uncomfortable.” I suppose that is a common feeling when treading into new territory. I sure hope I can get through this one night. I just have to keep telling myself that it won’t be so bad.